The words we use have power.

They can build someone up or tear them down. They can establish healthy relationships or leave intentions vague. When setting boundaries, whether at work, school or with family and friends, it’s important to be mindful of the language we use to communicate clearly and draw defined lines to protect mental health and personal autonomy.

Understanding Boundaries and How to Communicate Them

Boundaries are personal limits we create to protect our emotional and mental wellbeing. They help us say, “This is what I need to feel safe and respected.” We shouldn’t look at boundaries as pushing people away, it’s about showing up for yourself. If you’re a parent, a teen or someone navigating stressful relationships, you’ve probably felt the pressure to say yes when you really needed to say no. Boundaries are how we protect our peace, reduce constant burnout and model self-respect.

Why Words Matter When Setting Boundaries

Knowing your limits is one thing, communicating them is another. That’s where boundary phrases come in. These simple, respectful statements help you speak up for your needs without guilt, conflict or confusion.

Therapists often coach clients to use boundary phrases as tools for self-advocacy. They’re not about being harsh—they’re about being clear. And when you use them consistently, they can strengthen relationships while protecting your mental health. Boundary phrases help build a barrier that protects your mental health by giving you permission to say no unapologetically, putting yourself first without guilt or remorse. It’s not rude or selfish to set a boundary, and these therapist-approved phrases can help you establish boundaries in a way that’s both kind and assertive.

“Boundaries are the foundation which our relationships are built upon.” — Bethany Nold, LCPC, Program Development Coordinator

10 Therapist-Approved Boundary Phrases

1. “I would love to help with that, but I don’t have the capacity at the moment.”

This phrase acknowledges that you are interested in what the other person is doing or asking for help with, but lets them know you cannot lend a hand at this time. By using this boundary phrase, you avoid overextending yourself by taking on more than you can handle. You are respectfully declining requests that may overwhelm you or compromise your capacity.

Example Scenarios:

• You’re asked to take on additional responsibilities at work
• You’re invited to volunteer at a nonprofit or church event
• A friend or family member asks you for help moving or accomplishing a task

2. “I need some time to think about that before answering.”

Sometimes you are not prepared to answer right away. You may need to look at your calendar, talk to your partner or even just take some time to reflect and determine how you want to answer. This answer gives you the time you need to decide without the pressure of needing to give an immediate response, promoting intentional decision-making while resisting the urge to people-please. This can be especially helpful when your answer to the question will really change your everyday life.

Example Scenarios:

• You’re asked to make a transition or change
• Someone asks a question you don’t have an immediate response to
• Any time you’re feeling pressured to answer right away

3. “I need some space and will reach out when I’m ready.”

Especially in an emotionally charged environment, you may need to take some time apart from the person or situation before you’re ready to communicate further. This phrase lets the other person know you are still keeping the door open for future connection while setting a boundary around your time and communication.

Example Scenarios:

• When the conversation starts getting heated
• When the other person is not taking “no” for an answer
• When you are not feeling emotionally ready to have a conversation

4. “I value our relationship, but I need to set a boundary here.”

This phrase is a great tool for self-advocating when you want to maintain the connection with someone, but not the dysfunctional elements. When you use this phrase, you are showing maturity and clarity while acknowledging you value the other person. It also has just enough therapist-speak to confuse the manipulators!

Example Scenarios:

• The other person is trying to guilt-trip you
• You’re speaking to someone with a history of gaslighting or other dysfunctional communication toward you
• Any time you care for someone but need to set a boundary!

5. “I would love to take on that project. What can we move so I have space to accomplish it?”

This phrase is particularly valuable in the workplace, where you may be presented with multiple opportunities to take on new and exciting projects. It can be easy to overload yourself and collect too many eggs in one metaphorical basket. If a project really interests you but you currently don’t have the capacity to take it on, this is a great way to express your interest while working together to ensure a realistic workload.

Example Scenarios:

• You’re invited to join a project at work, but have a lot on your plate
• You’re asked to join a committee or volunteer for an event with a nonprofit or a place of worship
• A superior requests a new task when you already have a heavy workload

6. “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that topic.”

You are never obligated to give an answer. If someone asks you a question or tries to start a conversation about something you aren’t comfortable with, let them know in no uncertain terms. Especially if a loved one has asked, this sets a very defined boundary while remaining kind and polite.

Example Scenarios:

• A friend asks about something highly personal
• Someone is trying to gossip with you about others
• A topic is brought up that you do not want to discuss
• A loved one asks you about your child’s mental health and you’re not ready to share

7. “Thanks for the invite, but I’ll sit this one out.”

You may not always have a specific reason for saying no. That’s okay! Sometimes you just don’t feel like joining an activity or social event, but you’re still grateful for being invited to participate. This phrase shows gratitude while politely declining the invitation.

Example Scenarios:

• You’re invited to a wedding or other major social event
• Your coworkers invite you out for happy hour after work
• Your family is throwing a birthday party you don’t want to attend
• You just need a night off, even if you might normally have said yes

8. “Please don’t speak to me in that way.”

Not everyone is going to communicate with you respectfully. Even if the person being disrespectful is in a position of authority, such as a supervisor or parent, you have a right to respectful dialogue from both sides. This phrase is polite and shows respect to the other person while establishing a clear standard for how you expect to be treated as a person.

Example Scenarios:

• Your parent is speaking harshly to you
• Someone is using condescending language or speaking with a harsh, unkind tone
• You and your teen are having a disagreement
• Your boss or supervisor is not treating you with respect

9. “I love that we have the same goal, but I believe we are thinking about different paths to get there.”

All ideas are valid, but you can’t always implement every single one. This phrase acknowledges the validity of the other person’s idea without undermining your perspective. Both ideas may be equally effective, and pointing out you still have the same end goal can make it easier to look at both sides objectively and determine the best way forward.

Example Scenarios:

• You’re in a team meeting and have a different idea from a coworker on how to accomplish a task
• You’re co-parenting and trying to decide how to handle a situation with your child
• You’re in a position of authority and discussing a plan with a subordinate
• You’re a subordinate discussing a plan with an authority figure

10. “I can help with X, but not with Y.”

We all have the same 24 hours in a day! During some seasons, it’s impossible to add more to your plate. Whether it’s professional or personal, there are times when your bandwidth is limited, but you still want to be involved in some way. This phrase lets the other person know you’re happy to help meet some of their needs, but lets you maintain your boundaries too.

Example Scenarios:

• Your coworker comes to you the day before a deadline, needing your help with a big project, but you have other priorities to tackle
• A family member wants you to help with throwing a party or get-together, and you have limited time to assist
• You’re asked to volunteer in your child’s classroom and don’t have the time 

Words Have Power, So Use Them Wisely!

Using boundary phrases may feel awkward or challenging at first, especially if you’ve been raised to feel like it’s selfish to stand up for yourself. The more you implement boundaries in your daily conversations, the more natural it will feel to self-advocate and set a precedent for communication in all relationships, professional and personal. Even better, you can be a role model for your children by showing them how to use boundaries effectively. 

“Establishing healthy boundaries is critical for building respectful, trusting and fulfilling relationships. Boundaries help us define what’s acceptable and unacceptable in our relationships, protecting our overall wellbeing. Boundaries are not selfish, they’re necessary for our self-care.”
—Brittany Broeckelman, LSCSW, Vice President of Clinical Services

Boundaries are a great start. But if you’re still feeling overwhelmed or watching someone you care about struggle, it’s okay to ask for help. Camber Mental Health provides high-quality inpatient and residential mental health treatment for youth and adults across the Midwest region. There is hope. Learn more about all Camber offers.

Explore More Support:

If this blog resonated with you, you might also find these resources helpful:

Adult Mental Health Care—Explore Camber’s services for adults seeking mental health support, including inpatient care and emotional wellness resources.

Youth Mental Health Treatment — Learn more about Camber’s inpatient and residential programs for children and teens.

FAQs About Treatment — Get answers to common questions about what to expect during care at Camber.